Turnip28 Snob Name Generator

Turnip28 is a weird setting with weird names like ‘Von Sneg’ and ‘Tod’. It can be hard to come up with names that sound somewhat European but also weird and rooty and apocalyptic and absurd, so I’ve made a series of tables to help generate them. Although they can create names for anyone in the Turnip universe, they’re mainly aimed at making names for snobs, so they lean more regal and adorned. If you want your name to be even more snobbish, try rolling multiple times on the first name or title/nickname tables. More names = more fancy.

First, roll to determine whether your given name will be masculine, feminine, or neutral. The masculine and feminine names are mostly real names (but more on the archaic side), while the neutral names are mostly things I made up or took from other Turnip media. The real names are mostly English, French, and German in origin.

Gender (d6)

1-2 Masculine
3-4 Neutral
5-6 Feminine

Then roll on the appropriate table to get your name.

Masculine Name (d100)

1 Alain
2 Albin
3 Alexander
4 Alfred
5 Alphonse
6 Amand
7 Antoine
8 Archibald
9 Armin
10 Barnaby
11 Bennig
12 Benoit
13 Berthold
14 Blythe
15 Briar
16 Charles
17 Cuthbert
18 Didier
19 Dimitri
20 Eberhard
21 Eckbert
22 Edel
23 Edgar
24 Edmund
25 Edward
26 Egon
27 Eike
28 Engelbert
29 Ernst
30 Eugene
31 Fabian
32 Felix
33 Ferdinand
34 Fergus
35 Florimond
36 François
37 Garrett
38 Gaspard
39 Geoffrey
40 George
41 Gilbert
42 Gregor
43 Guillaume
44 Gunther
45 Hans
46 Harold
47 Henry
48 Hieronymus
49 Hubert
50 Hugh
51 Humbert
52 Ichabod
53 Ishmael
54 Ivan
55 Iver
56 Ivo
57 Jacob
58 James
59 Jean
60 Jenkins
61 Jim
62 Jonathan
63 Jörg
64 Joseph
65 Körbl
66 Laurence
67 Lionel
68 Louis
69 Ludwig
70 Manfred
71 Marcel
72 Martin
73 Marvin
74 Max
75 Nicholas
76 Norbert
77 Otto
78 Patrick
79 Pepin
80 Philbert
81 Philip
82 Philomon
83 Pierre
84 Ralph
85 Reginald
86 Richard
87 Roger
88 Rudolph
89 Siegfried
90 Silas
91 Sullivan
92 Sven
93 Thomas
94 Victor
95 Waldo
96 Wally
97 Walter
98 Wilhelm
99 William
00 Wolfgang

Neutral Name (d100)

1 Alex
2 Antelby
3 Arbor
4 Babble
5 Bellamy
6 Bellowous
7 Bobbins
8 Brylgos
9 Brynn
10 Bugleberry
11 Carla
12 Chappery
13 Chimney
14 Clatterplank
15 Dimble
16 Dorian
17 Eele
18 Egvert
19 Ellis
20 Ergot
21 Fen
22 Flower
23 Flugel
24 Forte
25 Francis
26 Froogle
27 Gallopus
28 Gargle
29 Gauston
30 Grigley
31 Gringle
32 Grott
33 Grubbles
34 Guffaw
35 Gumwax
36 Gurgle
37 Heffrey
38 Honey
39 Inkle
40 Jan
41 Jex
42 Jin
43 Jod
44 Jude
45 Jules
46 Karola
47 Kugelworth
48 LeBlanc
49 LeFrond
50 Lief
51 Lod
52 Lowen
53 Marshmallow
54 Migglemert
55 Minglin
56 Misha
57 Mollusk
58 Moony
59 Morg
60 Morgan
61 Moss
62 Noel
63 Nogbell
64 Oleander
65 Onions
66 Orfen
67 Perponcher
68 Pinky
69 Piquel
70 Plash
71 Plott
72 Qug
73 Quinn
74 Remington
75 Remy
76 Renata
77 Ridley
78 Robin
79 Rowan
80 Schuyler
81 Sloop
82 Slouch
83 Snik
84 Snipe
85 Snog
86 Snurl
87 Splensh
88 Spout
89 Squinty
90 Stipple
91 Toggler
92 Tot
93 Ungert
94 Ven
95 Vink
96 Warble
97 Wendell
98 Wilbus
99 Yug
00 Zeat

Feminine Name (d100)

1 Ada
2 Adeline
3 Agnes
4 Alfreda
5 Alice
6 Amelia
7 Annabelle
8 Anne
9 Annette
10 Anya
11 Astrid
12 Beatrice
13 Belle
14 Bernadette
15 Bridget
16 Brunhilde
17 Caroline
18 Cecilia
19 Cerise
20 Charlotte
21 Colette
22 Constance
23 Daphne
24 Edith
25 Eleanor
26 Elfrida
27 Esmerelda
28 Esther
29 Fanny
30 Felicity
31 Fern
32 Florence
33 Frida
34 Froggetta
35 Genevieve
36 Gertrude
37 Gladys
38 Godiva
39 Greta
40 Gruntilda
41 Guinevere
42 Hagilda
43 Harriet
44 Helga
45 Henrietta
46 Hester
47 Hilda
48 Hildegarde
49 Holace
50 Ida
51 Illiana
52 Ilse
53 Ingeborg
54 Ingrid
55 Iris
56 Isabeau
57 Isolde
58 Jane
59 Jessamine
60 Joan
61 June
62 Katarina
63 Katinka
64 Lavinia
65 Lotte
66 Louise
67 Lucia
68 Lucinda
69 Lucy
70 Lydia
71 Margaux
72 Marge
73 Margit
74 Maria
75 Martha
76 Mary
77 Matilda
78 Maud
79 Maud
80 Mercy
81 Merida
82 Miriam
83 Morgana
84 Odette
85 Olga
86 Olivia
87 Orinda
88 Penelope
89 Prune
90 Reine
91 Sarah
92 Sophia
93 Sophronia
94 Susan
95 Sybil
96 Theodosia
97 Tiana
98 Wenda
99 Yvonne
00 Zoe

Then roll for your surname.

Surname (d100)

1 Auguste
2 Batts
3 Berrymilk
4 Biggins
5 Blackmarsh
6 Blanche
7 Bogfoot
8 Bootsoft
9 Borb
10 Bösch
11 Briddleskinx
12 Brierley
13 Brogbent
14 Clobber
15 Ditherslop
16 Drainpipe
17 Dredge
18 Drench
19 Driblet
20 Dwerry
21 Fitzgerald
22 Fitzroy
23 Flush
24 Footstool
25 Frunkfort
26 Girder
27 Goggins
28 Gongbottom
29 Gongwell
30 Gorboz
31 Gourdroy
32 Groos
33 Gump
34 Hilbert
35 Hogwash
36 Honeysett
37 Huff
38 Humphrey
39 Icksmell
40 Ironbork
41 Kerr
42 Klimt
43 Knopf
44 Kunkel
45 Latchkey
46 Lave
47 Leechlick
48 Lerp
49 Marshfoot
50 Merp
51 Messmann
52 Moistwad
53 Monk
54 Mould
55 Mounce
56 Norris
57 Pfaff
58 Pillious
59 Plott
60 Pohl
61 Quench
62 Ruggles
63 Sappington
64 Schmeling
65 Schnell
66 Shellard
67 Slosh
68 Slough
69 Sluice
70 Slurple
71 Smynt
72 Snailbane
73 Snelling
74 Snodgrass
75 Sockline
76 Sockwell
77 Spalding
78 Spannagel
79 Spout
80 Squelch
81 Stavn
82 Stovepipe
83 Stronglance
84 Stumpet
85 Sudworth
86 Trootle
87 Tubery
88 Tuft
89 Van Ban
90 Van Ruten
91 Von Gartel
92 Von Garz
93 Von Gugan
94 Von Lenkz
95 Von Snurl
96 Washingwell
97 Weft
98 Wellies
99 Woodwell
00 Woshner

And finally, roll for your title or nickname. Each entry states in parentheses whether it should go before, after, or between your first and last names. If it says ‘before or after’ flip a norbert to decide where it goes, or choose whichever sounds better. It usually sounds nicer if you remove the ‘the’ when placing a title before your name.

Title/Nickname (d100)

1 "Baggy Pants" (between)
2 "Beet Face" (between)
3 "Goldfinger" (between)
4 "Husky" (between)
5 "Lumpy" (between)
6 "Porky" (between)
7 "Tipsy" (between)
8 "Trumpet" (between)
9 Awful (before)
10 Babblin' (before)
11 Baron/Baroness (before)
12 Big (before)
13 Brother/Sister (before)
14 Captain (before)
15 Commander (before)
16 Count/Countess (before)
17 Crooked (before)
18 Deep Pockets (before)
19 Duke/Duchess (before)
20 Flailin' (before)
21 Flighty (before)
22 Frail (before)
23 Frightful (before)
24 Fungoid (before)
25 Junior (after)
26 Knög (before)
27 Little (before)
28 Lively (before)
29 Long Arm (before)
30 Long Legged (before)
31 Lord/Lady (before)
32 Madcap (before)
33 Marquis/Marquise (before)
34 Mouldy (before)
35 Of Agoz Castle (after)
36 Of Bhir (after)
37 Of Cestelmerp (after)
38 Of Geets (after)
39 Of Gerpe (after)
40 Of Jorc (after)
41 Of Krotz (after)
42 Of Mergland (after)
43 Of Mireforp (after)
44 Of Murke (after)
45 Of Sallow (after)
46 Of Shellwood (after)
47 Of Slek (after)
48 Of the Barrows (after)
49 Of the Southern Marshes (after)
50 Old (before)
51 Overlord (before)
52 Screamin' (before)
53 Sir/Dame (before)
54 Stumpy (before)
55 The 10th (after)
56 The 2nd (after)
57 The 3rd (after)
58 The 4th (after)
59 The 5th (after)
60 The 6th (after)
61 The 7th (after)
62 The 8th (after)
63 The 9th (after)
64 The All-Seeing (before or after)
65 The Anxious (before or after)
66 The Awesome (before or after)
67 The Beautiful (before or after)
68 The Bitter (before or after)
69 The Bountiful (before or after)
70 The Brittle (before or after)
71 The Conqueror (after)
72 The Dashing (before or after)
73 The Dehydrated (after)
74 The Destroyer (after)
75 The Drunkard (before or after)
76 The Elder (after)
77 The Fair (before or after)
78 The Filthy (before or after)
79 The Fragile (before or after)
80 The Great (before or after)
81 The Handsome (before or after)
82 The Hideous (before or after)
83 The Impaler (after)
84 The Merciful (before or after)
85 The Odourful (before or after)
86 The Petulant (before or after)
87 The Porcine (before or after)
88 The Rambunctious (before or after)
89 The Rootful (before or after)
90 The Rotund (before or after)
91 The Short  (before or after)
92 The Shroominous (before or after)
93 The Silly (before or after)
94 The Soggy (before)
95 The Superior (after)
96 The Terrible (before or after)
97 The Unseemly (before or after)
98 The Vacuous (before or after)
99 The Younger (after)
00 Truffle-Mad (before)

I will leave you with this:

I hope your day is pleasant and your socks aren't filled with thorns 

Three d100 Battlemap Generators

Imagine how much more boring the Pirates of the Caribbean movies would be if instead of riding water wheels and swinging from chandeliers, every fight took place in a plain grassy field. Unfortunately that’s how I find a lot of RPG fights can feel. I really want that sense of swashbuckling action when I run combat in RPGs, but without an interesting environment it just doesn’t happen, and interesting environments can be hard to come up with on the fly, especially for sandbox campaigns where you have to do so often. I try to add interesting details, but my brain can never come up with anything truly unique in the spur of the moment. I’ve had far too many battles take place around locked, featureless buildings scattered with ambiguously filled crates.

So to help with creating interesting environments I’ve made three d100 tables to generate interesting features for either nature, interiors, or settlements. Roll or pick a couple of times from the most fitting table and you’ve got yourself a unique combat scene in seconds.

You could roll on multiple tables for certain environments, like using nature and settlement for an elven forest village, or interior and nature for an abandoned overgrown building. You might need to reroll occasionally for certain environments, like with the interior table if you’ve already got your building’s purpose in mind, but most entries should fit in most situations. A lot of the interior entries dictate what kind of building it is, which can cause some strange results, but these can also be the spark of an interesting idea. Maybe there’s a forge in the church because they worship a god of the forge and see smithing as a sacred ritual.

Nature (d100)

1-2         Gigantic tree
3-4         Hanging vines
5-6         Thick cluster of trees
7-8         Easily climbable tree
9-10        Thick rooted tree
11-12 Large seed pods/pinecones
13-14 Bug infested tree
15-16 Flexible tree
17-18 Mossy ground
19-20 Thick undergrowth
21-22 Thorny undergrowth
23-24 Thick reeds
25-26 Overgrown cliff
27-28 Unstable tree
29-30 Flower patch
31-32 Tall grass
33-34 Thorny bushes
35-36 Mushroom patch
37-38 Rotten dead tree
39-40 Defensive animal nest
41-42 Waterfall
43-44 River
45-46 Lake
47-48 Hollow dead tree
49-50 Bug nest
51-52 Stable bridge
53-54 Abandoned campsite
55-56 Abandoned hut
57-58 Rickety bridge
59-60 Fallen dead tree
61-62 Small defensive animal
63-64 Dangerous animal tracks
65-66 Deep mud
67-68 Animal carcass
69-70 Small stream
71-72 Pond
73-74 Muddy ground
75-76 Ancient ruins
77-78 Brittle dead tree
79-80 Steep slope
81-82 Giant boulder
83-84 Rocky overhang
85-86 Rough ground
87-88 Small boulder
89-90 Unstable ground
91-92 Wobbly rock
93-94 Cave
95-96 Crevice
97-98 Cliff
99-00 Spiky rocks

Settlement (d100)

1 Loose cobbles
2 Barrel
3 Crate
4 Pile of rope
5 Unstable wall
6 Lantern
7 Lamp
8 Bonfire
9 Market stalls
10 Wagon
11 Stable
12 Statue
13 Chair
14 Half eaten food
15 Pots
16 Tanning rack
17 Balcony
18 Puddle
19 Pet
20 Caged animal
21 Ladder
22 Open window
23 Fountain
24 Shrine
25 Anvil and forge
26 Amphitheatre
27 Gardening tools
28 Garden bed
29 Fishing supplies
30 Carpentry equipment
31 Ornate window
32 Holding cell
33 Half carved sculpture
34 Arcane circle
35 Ornate relief
36 Muddy tracks
37 Graveyard
38 Giant bell
39 Scaffolding
40 Partially built wall
41 Pile of logs
42 Board game
43 Drying meats
44 Hot stew pot
45 Exposed support beams
46 Lamp oil
47 Doll
48 Flour sack
49 Oily spill
50 Bones
51 Fabrics
52 Telescope
53 Large tree
54 Small tree
55 Fruit tree
56 Hedgerow
57 Sack
58 Pile of crates
59 Sports field
60 Rickety fence
61 Low wall
62 Dog
63 Cat
64 Workbench
65 Cracked pillar
66 Staircase
67 Small vase
68 Large vase
69 Clay pit
70 Loose bricks
71 Village green
72 Hammock
73 Masonry equipment
74 Pottery equipment
75 Mossy ground
76 Steep slope
77 Rough ground
78 Muddy ground
79 Bridge
80 Canal
81 Apiary
82 Vine covered wall
83 Lattice wall
84 Boat
85 Communal bath
86 Communal toilet
87 Sewer hatch
88 Elevated street
89 Stilt house
90 Dock
91 Ruined building
92 Cart
93 Aqueduct
94 Well
95 Execution area
96 Walled garden
97 Public park
98 Water wheel
99 Gate
00 Tower

Interior (d100)

1 Chandelier
2 Candles
3 Barrel
4 Crate
5 Pile of rope
6 Carpet
7 Secret door
8 Unstable wall
9 Lantern
10 Fireplace
11 Large table
12 Small table
13 Divider
14 Fruit bowl
15 Shelf
16 Rickety shelf
17 Statue
18 Ornamental weapon
19 Ornamental shield
20 Ornamental armour
21 Pews
22 Alcohol shelf
23 Alcohol keg
24 Half eaten food
25 Chest
26 Locked door
27 Small vase
28 Large vase
29 Animal skin rug
30 Mounted animal head
31 Loose floorboards
32 Loose floor tiles
33 Mirror
34 Balcony
35 Staircase
36 Cracked pillar
37 Leaky ceiling
38 Puddle
39 Workbench
40 Caged animal
41 Pet
42 Hatch
43 Ladder
44 Shrine
45 Open window
46 Closet
47 Bed/sleeping furs
48 Water feature
49 Kitchen knives
50 Hammock
51 Weapon/armour rack
52 Anvil and forge
53 Counter
54 Unidentified elixirs
55 Art
56 Writing desk
57 Spiral staircase
58 Broken floor
59 Stage
60 Gardening tools
61 Large musical instrument
62 Hand held musical instrument
63 Sack
64 Pile of crates
65 Large house plant
66 Small house plant
67 Cushioned seat
68 Curtained window
69 Loom
70 Fabrics
71 Pantry shelves
72 Telescope
73 Board game
74 Rickety rafters
75 Drying meats
76 Hot stew pot
77 Exposed support beams
78 Lamp oil
79 Doll
80 Jars of herbs
81 Flour sack
82 Oily spill
83 Bones
84 Cupboards
85 Wardrobe
86 Fishing supplies
87 Carpentry equipment
88 Ornate window
89 Holding cell
90 Half carved sculpture
91 Arcane circle
92 Ornate relief
93 Muddy tracks
94 Tomb
95 Surgical tools
96 Scrolls and books
97 Giant bell
98 Scaffolding
99 Partially built wall
00 Pile of logs

If you want to make your combats even more interesting, I’d recommend adding environmental conditions. A fight with the same characters in the same location feels completely different at night in the rain versus in broad daylight while a riot is taking place and the palace is burning down. I don’t have any generators for these conditions, as they're usually tied more closely to the players and the events in the game world. It would be a little weird for a riot to suddenly break out with no warning or relation to the PCs’ actions, and there are plenty of good weather tables out there already. But still, if you'd be interested in event or weather tables, let me know, and I might give them a go in the future.

I will leave you with this:

Ice melts when you pour water on it because the water is warmer than it, but what if you use water that's colder than the ice?

Strange Disease Generator

Fictional diseases can be a great way to add some verisimilitude to a setting while setting it apart from real life. These tables allow you to easily create something interesting and unique for your world. I wrote most of these tables while I was incredibly sick, which did help with inspiration, but I can’t recommend researching illnesses and writing about them while you’re already sick. It really isn’t a great distraction.

I recommend rolling 2-4 times on the Symptoms table to create an interesting combination. All of the symptoms are relatively grounded and should fit in just about any setting, but their severity can vary a lot. If you have a particular severity in mind, you might want to roll a couple of extra times then cut the rolls that don’t fit, or just choose the options yourself. 

Whenever a table entry says ‘body part’ you can either roll on the body part table or choose a more specific body part yourself.

Content warning: gross stuff (obviously)

Symptoms (d100)

• 1-2 Flu symptoms
• 3-4 Extremely runny nose
• 5-6 Can’t keep food down
• 7-8 Fever
• 9-10 Body part aches
• 11-12 Extreme weakness
• 13-14 Stomach ache
• 15-16 Extreme dehydration
• 17-18 Dizziness
• 19-20 Sleepiness
• 21-22 Diarrhoea
• 23-24 Bruising
• 25-26 Loss of taste
• 27-28 Loss of smell
• 29-30 Swollen eyelids impairing vision
• 31-32 Swollen and painful body part
• 33-34 Extremely bad breath
• 35-36 Can’t stop sneezing
• 37-38 Extreme sensitivity to touch
• 39-40 Coughing up bile
• 41-42 Flaking skin on body part
• 43-44 Itchy body part
• 45-46 Rash on body part
• 47-48 Spots on body part
• 49-50 Pronounced veins on body part
• 51-52 Hair falling out
• 53-54 Hard growths on body part
• 55-56 Nosebleeds
• 57-58 Coughing up blood
• 59-60 Blurred vision
• 61-62 Pus from ears
• 63-64 Withering body part
• 65-66 Body part changes colour
• 67-68 Eyes change colour
• 69-70 Chalky skin on body part
• 71-72 Causes sleepwalking
• 73-74 Hot flushes
• 75-76 Affects children worse than adults
• 77-78 Affects adults worse than children
• 79-80 Confusion and disorientation
• 81-82 Body part paralysed
• 83-84 Muscle spasms
• 85-86 Uncontrollable shaking
• 87-88 Hallucinations
• 89-90 Sensitivity to bright light
• 91-92 Extreme hunger
• 93-94 Weakened bones
• 95-96 Loss of voice
• 97-98 Sensitivity to loud sounds
• 99-00 Loss of appetite

Body Part (d6)

1. Torso
2. Arm
3. Leg
4. Face/head
5. Entire body
6. Roll 1d4 twice on this table

The Treatment table will generate a cure for your sparkly new disease. The cures it generates will be weird. They’re based on real life folk remedies, mainly the more bizarre medieval ones, so they don’t really fit in modern or sci-fi settings. It’s up to you whether the remedy you generate actually works or is just superstition.

When an entry in the Treatment table uses the word substance, roll on the Substance table. The Substance table includes plants from all around the world, so you might want to reroll if they don’t match the climate or area in your world. Also, you can occasionally generate some truly absurd treatments, like eating only ash for a month, which might warrant a reroll.

Treatment (d20)

1. Ingest substance
2. Apply substance to affected area
3. Apply substance to body part
4. Line shoes with substance
5. Touch copper until better
6. Apply pressure to affected area
7. Lie beneath the full moon
8. Sleep on rocks
9. Inhale substance odour
10. Sleep with substance under pillow/head
11. Eat only substance for two weeks
12. Bathe in substance
13. Drain blood from affected area
14. Fast for 1d6 days
15. Abstain from eating meat
16. Make a pilgrimage to a temple
17. Sleep within a fairy ring
18. Hear the call of a rare bird
19. Keep substance under tongue
20. Lie with substance over eyes for 1d6 hours

Substance (d100)

• 1-2 Raw meat
• 3-4 Ash
• 5-6 Herbal mixture
• 7-8 Milk
• 9-10 Honey
• 11-12 Tree sap
• 13-14 Cinnamon
• 15-16 Ginger
• 17-18 Garlic
• 19-20 Liver
• 21-22 Moss from a holy temple
• 23-24 Egg
• 25-26 Mint
• 27-28 Salt
• 29-30 Pepper
• 31-32 Tea
• 33-34 Citrus
• 35-36 Olive oil
• 37-38 Urine
• 39-40 Fermented snake
• 41-42 Alcohol
• 43-44 Sea water
• 45-46 Turmeric
• 47-48 Butter
• 49-50 Cheese
• 51-52 Yoghurt
• 53-54 Sugar
• 55-56 Bone marrow
• 57-58 Crushed bone
• 59-60 Gingko
• 61-62 Echinacea
• 63-64 Lavender
• 65-66 Aloe Vera
• 67-68 Celery
• 69-70 Barberry
• 71-72 Chilli
• 73-74 Papaya
• 75-76 Mushrooms
• 77-78 Coffee
• 79-80 Thistle
• 81-82 Fennel
• 83-84 Liquorice root
• 85-86 Flaxseed oil
• 87-88 Chamomile
• 89-90 Oregano
• 91-92 Rosemary
• 93-94 Elderberry
• 95-96 Cranberry
• 97-98 Blueberry
• 99-00 Grape

I will leave you with this:

A woman creates a new extra strong peppermint beverage known for its low vitamin D content, she calls it ‘Mindy's Min-D Minty Mint Tea’

Mysterious Fae Generator

Are your adventuring party making their way through a mysterious forest filled with strangely coloured fungi and the croaks and chitters of otherworldly fauna? Want them to encounter a strange being with alien motivations? Then you’ve come to the right place! Roll a couple of dice and these tables will spit out something truly strange to baffle and befuddle them.

The Distinctive Feature table is the most important. I suggest rolling on it twice to get a more interesting result.

The Motivation table is self explanatory. To keep that otherworldly feeling, try to interpret its results from an alien perspective. For example, a fae might decide the best way to find a friend or lover is to kidnap or enchant them. Or they might consider something as intelligent as a human or as powerful as a dragon to be a perfect pet.

The Entourage table determines what the fae’s companions are. It’s up to you to decide if they’re its subjects, friends, slaves, etc.

Combine all these ingredients and you’ve got yourself an otherworldly stew cooking up.

Distinctive Feature (d100)

• 1-2 Small, vestigial wings
• 3-4 Large, ornate wings
• 5-6 Eyebrows that protrude like whiskers
• 7-8 Flowers growing from hair
• 9-10 Sparkling skin
• 11-12 Iridescent skin
• 13-14 Fingers double the length of human fingers
• 15-16 Extremely tall and slender
• 17-18 Skin like bark
• 19-20 Extremely attractive to all
• 21-22 Their every word is completely captivating
• 23-24 Animals are docile in their presence
• 25-26 Irises seem to be made of flame
• 27-28 No irises
• 29-30 Iridescent eyes
• 31-32 Nails like glass
• 33-34 Hair that drags along the ground
• 35-36 Inhuman amounts of curly hair
• 37-38 A swirling breeze follows them everywhere
• 39-40 Water goes completely still in their presence
• 41-42 Water ripples in their presence
• 43-44 Cats love them
• 45-46 They cast no shadow
• 47-48 Small antlers
• 49-50 Fires extinguish in their presence
• 51-52 Fires grow in their presence
• 53-54 Skin made of tiny scales
• 55-56 Swirling patterns on skin
• 57-58 Razor sharp teeth
• 59-60 Their singing induces sleep
• 61-62 Jewelry that looks like beetle shells
• 63-64 Wildly coloured hair
• 65-66 Completely hairless
• 67-68 Antlers in the shape of a crown
• 69-70 Childlike appearance
• 71-72 An unreasonable amount of bracelets and necklaces
• 73-74 Birds use them as a perch
• 75-76 Intricately braided hair filled with ornaments
• 77-78 They shift into a new form each day
• 79-80 A crystal orb that shows visions only they can see
• 81-82 Extremely long, pointed ears
• 83-84 Whiskered face, resembling a cat or fox
• 85-86 Feathered
• 87-88 Feather decorated clothing
• 89-90 Skin emits a soft glow
• 91-92 A grotesque mask
• 93-94 An elegant mask
• 95-96 A bell they ring at specific times or events
• 97-98 A magical weapon
• 99-00 Mushrooms grow from their skin

Motivation (d8)

1. Find a lover
2. Cause mischief
3. Get revenge
4. Hunt a mythical beast
5. Find a land to claim as their own
6. Add to their entourage
7. Find a child to raise as their own
8. Find a friend

Entourage (d12)

• 1-3 Similar beings
• 4-6 No entourage
• 7 Floating orbs of light
• 8 Tall humanoid fae
• 9 Tiny humanoid fae
• 10 Small, grotesque creatures
• 11 Elemental creatures
• 12 Wild animals

I will leave you with this:

What if trees could commit crimes 

Sources to Steal From: Deltora Quest

You know what’s great? Theft. Well not actual theft, but idea theft. I think most people call it “inspiration”, but that doesn’t make me feel like a daring thief, planning the heist of the century, taking someone’s most valued asset from right under their nose, then disguising and concealing it to the point that they don’t even realise they’ve been stolen from.

One of my favourite places to pilfer ideas from is the mind of Emily Rodda, the author of the Deltora Quest series. If you were an Australian child in the 2000s there’s a decent chance you’ve either vaguely heard of Deltora Quest, or have intense nostalgia for it. This post’s existence should give you an idea of which group I fall into. I’m not sure if Deltora was very popular outside of Australia. There’s very little info about its worldwide reception on the internet. It was at least successful enough to get a lackluster anime adaptation though, so there’s that.

But What is Deltora Quest?

I’m so glad you asked, Subheader. Deltora Quest is a series of kids’ fantasy books about Lief, the teenaged son of a blacksmith, and his quest to restore the Belt of Deltora and defeat the evil Shadow Lord (spooky!). To be honest, the story is nothing groundbreaking, it’s the worldbuilding we’re here for.

This isn’t your typical kitchen sink fantasy world with elves and orcs and dwarves. It does have a couple of typical fantasy species, but it’s also full of really imaginative creatures. Each book has the protagonists travel to a new location to face a new threat and find another jewel for the Belt of Deltora (each one a different real gem, to trick kids into learning about geology in their cool fantasy books). The cover of each book is wonderfully illustrated by Marc Mcbride, a man who, when you google him, the first image result is probably one of the most powerful images in human history.

This man was born to appeal to children.

McBride’s covers alone were enough to get child me’s imagination running wild. Just look at these beauties.

These are my family’s copies of Deltora from my childhood. Don’t ask why we have two copies of the same book with slightly different cover designs; I don’t know either.

But he didn’t just illustrate the book covers, because what marketable children’s entertainment would be complete without supplementary material? I have three such books from my childhood: Secrets of Deltora, Tales of Deltora, and The Deltora Book of Monsters. Secrets has some cool background info on various worldbuildy things, while Tales is more narrative and explains the origins of many parts of the world (and it makes a wonderful use of Papyrus as a header font). All three books also exist as in universe artefacts, which is always a fun gimmick. The Book of Monster has always been my favourite though, since it’s entirely double page spreads of artwork with lore text layered on top.

Let’s Get Pilfering

Now I’ll show some of my favourite illustrations from the main series covers and the supplementary books with summarised lore descriptions, and you can steal away. Use this stuff to inspire your RPG sessions or that fantasy novel you’re definitely gonna finish some day.

Gorl

Gorl is sort of the poster child of Deltora, being featured front and centre on the first book. His lore isn’t too remarkable, but I had to include him for his design. His goldy-bronze armour and Greek style muscle cuirass give such a striking look to what could have been just a generic knight. Lore wise, he’s the immortal guardian of the Lilies of Life, which he’s contained in an enclosure of vines. Interestingly, the lillies aren’t the source of his immortality. He’s guarding them while waiting for them to bloom, and has somehow stayed alive past the point of his body completely decaying by sheer force of will. What a guy.

Wennbar and the Wenn

These creatures truly show how unique Deltora can be. The Wennbar is a gigantic beast that sort of looks like a stubby sauropod with a retractable neck. It rules over the Wenn, cold blooded creatures that can rub their legs together to produce a high pitched ringing that disables their prey before they sting and paralyse them. The Wenn hunt purely to provide food for the Wennbar, which often eats Wenn if they provide no other sacrifice. There is only one Wennbar, and when it dies it gives birth to several babies, which promptly fight to the death until there is once again only a single Wennbar.

Theagan’s Children

The sorceress Theagan’s 13 monstrous children, Hot, Tot, Jin, Jod, Fie, Fly, Zan, Zod, Pik, Snik, Lun, Lod, and Ichabod are truly strange beings. No one really knows what they are or how they came to be, only that they are immensely cruel. Many of them are rather stupid, and infighting is a common occurrance among them. Their abilities are left vague, other than being able to shape shift.

The Ak-Baba

I read Deltora before I watched or read Lord of the Rings, so the Ak-Baba was my first introduction to one of my favourite fantasy tropes, the ‘protagonists have to hide from a giant winged beast’ trope. To me, this is the original Fel Beast. A giant bird with teeth and a mental connection to the Shadow Lord. They stuck in my mind so deeply that I ended up subconsciously referencing it when I named the giant birds in one of my settings Akvelars.

The Nine Ra-Kacharz

The Ra-Kacharz are the immortal rulers of the city of Noradz, where they enforce the strange laws of the city with punishments going as far as torture or death. They forbid wasting food or bringing any sort of furry creature within the city’s walls. Apart from their eyes, they keep their entire bodies concealed in skintight wraps and they wield leather whips. When seen on the road, they completely ignore any passers-by, not even glancing at them. Smart travellers know to do the same.

Muddlets

Muddlets are animals used as beasts of burden or steeds. Their most notable feature is that they have only three legs, two in the back, one in the front, making Muddlet rides into a bumpy experience on even the smoothest roads. They can be fiercely independent and unreliable, going where they please and doing whatever they wish. So they’re pretty much cats that can be ridden.

Sand Beasts

This is another image that really stuck with me. Sand Beasts are gigantic bugs, as tall as three men, that lie beneath the dunes of the Shifting Sands, waiting for their unsuspecting prey. They have multiple exterior stomachs hanging off them. Once they fill a stomach, it drops to the floor for them to lay their eggs inside of it.

Gellick

Okay, so this guy is basically just Jabba the Hutt. BUT! He’s a frog. So that makes his inclusion here worthy. Gellick tyrannically rules over the Dread Gnomes (a combination of words that works far better than it has any right to) from atop his pile of treasures. His skin secretes a venomous slime that kills anything it touches. The Gnomes use this slime to poison their weapons. This fellow directly inspired a giant toad that was going to be the final boss of an RPG campaign I was running. Unfortunately it fizzled out before the party reached him. I’ll reuse that giant toad someday. He’s just hibernating, for now.

The Glus

The Glus is a giant slug that patrols a partially flooded coastal cavern, known as the Maze of the Beast. Local pirates throw any who cross them into these caverns to die a brutal death. The Glus spits a white glue-like substance whenever it detects movement, entrapping its prey. This substance then hardens into a rock-like state to completely trap its victim until they are consumed. Due to this hunting method, the Maze of the Beast is covered in rocks that resemble terrified, helpless people. This substance also acts similar to a spider web, allowing the glus to feel vibrations from anywhere in the Maze through the fine hairs on its underbelly.

Vraals

These beasts need very little info. They were created by the Shadow Lord specifically for fighting, and so they know nothing but fighting. You can see pretty much everything else you need to know.

The End?

There’s a lot more cool stuff in Deltora. All of this is only from the first series, and even then I haven’t covered everything. There are two more series after that, and then a couple of spinoff series. I haven’t read all of those though, and for the ones I have read my memories are vague. The world itself is also really interesting, being a sort of dystopia that the Shadow Lord has infiltrated every corner of, as he keeps the nobility corrupt or distracted to prevent any real change.

This series really means a lot to me, and I think it deserves a lot more recognition for just how unique it is in places. If you want to see more of it, let me know and I might make another post on the things that I missed, but I’ll never be able to cover every interesting thing without summarising the whole series, so I’d recommend you try to get your hands on The Deltora Book of Monster or Tales or Secrets of Deltora at least. Maybe even pick up the actual books. I can’t vouch for if they stand up as an adult, since I last read them when I was really young, but I can certainly say the lore holds up.

So, thank you to Emily Rodda and Marc McBride, for sparking my imagination and introducing me to the fantasy genre. Who knows where I’d be if not for them.

I will leave you with this:

Every person named James is actually two people named Jame, pretending to be a single James. I see through their plural gambit. 

A Fun Way to Ganerate Names

When you’re making any sort of story, whether you’re GMing an RPG or writing a book, chances are you’ll need names. And in speculative fiction, names can be pretty much anything. There are a lot of different ways to come up with names but I have a method I like to use that I’ve never seen anyone else do. I’m going to call it the Letter by Letter method.

First you separate the alphabet into two rollable tables, one for vowels (including Y) and one for consonants (not including Y). You then roll 1d20 for consonants and 1d6 for vowels. Then you choose which result you want to add onto the name. Often you’ll be kind of forced to choose one. Like if the name is currently Adz, and you roll a Q and an A, you probably don’t want the name to start with Adzq. After choosing which letter you want, you roll again, and again, and again, adding each result onto the end of the name until you have something you’re happy with.

Vowels:

1. A
2. E
3. I
4. O
5. U
6. Y

Consonants:

1. B
2. C
3. D
4. F
5. G
6. H
7. J
8. K
9. L
10. M
11. N
12. P
13. Q
14. R
15. S
16. T
17. V
18. W
19. X
20. Z

This method can give some pretty varied results, which I find works best in Star Wars-like settings where names can be pretty much any old soup of syllables. Here’s a few example names I made with this method: Jzuyo, Dovdogo, Zvostoi, Nuohed, Jan, Tam, Biplo, and Elvet. They sound like they’d make a wild space faring rock band.

If you want names to be more consistent, you can use the LBL method to make a few starter names for each culture/language, and then extrapolate letter patterns from those to make more names that feel coherent together.

The cool part about this method is that there’s so many ways it can be altered. You can alter the tables to remove letters, alter letter probabilities, or add letters that aren’t used in english. Or you could roll more dice to give you more freedom in letter choices. I sometimes use it just to make a starting point name that I then change to sound better. The only limit is your imagination 🌈

As always, feedback is much appreciated. I’d love to know if you use this process to name anything, and if you’d like to see more in depth posts on creating names for world building. I’m pretty into linguistics and conlanging, so I can go a lot deeper than this.

I will leave you with this:

Certain small birds native to the lands surrounding Paris have gained a peculiar habit as of late; they have been biting passers by, but only when perched atop man-made barriers. The locals have begun referring to this phenomenon as the French finch fence pinch.

60 Setting Agnostic Star Wars Cantina Style Vignettes

One of my favourite parts of the whole Star Wars saga is the cantina sequence. There are a number of similar moments throughout the series – always showing a series of contextless vignettes reinforcing how big the world is and how small the protagonists are in it – and they’re always great, no matter what movie they’re in. The cyberpunk sports bar in Attack of the Clones, the Cantina in A New Hope, Jabba’s Palace in Return of the Jedi, Maz’s Castle in The Force Awakens, that casino I forget the name of in The Last Jedi. Similar scenes in other franchises are great too, like the Prancing Pony in Fellowship. These sequences achieve so much so quickly. They instantly communicate the vibe of the location, the world suddenly feels real and lived in, and they set your imagination running wild wondering at all the stories behind the strange characters you see.

They’re also great to steal for RPGs.

On top of fleshing out the worldbuilding these scenes provide instant plot hooks for sandbox games. Imagine if Luke and Obi Wan had approached the wolf guy and his worm buddy instead of Han and Chewie, or sat next to the little rat guy instead of Ponda Baba and Dr. Evazan. I don’t know if I should be proud or sad that I knew both those names off the top of my head. I spent a lot of my childhood reading expanded universe guide books, and now I know Star Wars names instead of algebra.

But anyway, imagine the possibilities! The story could have gone in so many different directions. The issue with these scenes is that they can take some time to think up, and it’s especially hard to come up with a bunch of them on the fly, if your players unexpectedly decide to head to a tavern or similar locale – and these sequences really do rely on their numbers. If the PCs walk into a seedy tavern and there’s only one interesting thing happening, it can feel railroady and immersion breaking. It smells of obvious plot hook.

To solve these issues, I made this table of 60 Star Wars cantina style vignettes. They should work with most settings, but I wrote them with sci fi and fantasy in mind. The table can be rolled on during prep or in the session itself, with each vignette written so that they can be read out to your players directly or just paraphrased.

I included a mix of truly scummy, villainous vignettes mixed in with tamer ones that could appear in more high society areas. If you have a specific tone in mind, you might have to reroll a few times before you get vignettes that fit, but if you’re going off the cuff, you can use the scenes you get to determine the tone of the location.

To roll a d60, roll 1d6 and 1d10. The d6 represents the first digit and the d10 represents the second. Treat the 10 on the d10 and the 6 on the d6 as 0s. If you roll double 0s (6 & 10) it counts as a 60. Or use a digital random number generator.

1. A suave man lounges at a table tucked into a dark corner with his companion. They eye the newcomers carefully.
2. A cloaked figure smokes from a long pipe at a far table, unmoving.
3. Two drunken friends laugh uproariously, spilling their drinks and nearly falling off their seats.
4. A white haired man leans on his cane by the fire, telling tall tales to an audience of enraptured youths.
5. A scarred woman leans back on the bar, absently rolling a coin along her knuckles.
6. Three figures at the bar are enraptured in a tense argument, completely oblivious to their surroundings.
7. A lone musician sits on a stool atop the stage, singing a sombre ballad.
8. Two brawny men are locked in an intense arm wrestling competition, eyes locked, faces red, neither budging.
9. A gaggle of fellows casually chat as they are dealt their cards, a small sum of money in the pot between them.
10. One woman smiles confidently among five dejected players at a card table, cradling their heads in their hands. The majority of the pot sits in front of her.
11. A man nimbly moves three upturned mugs in a disorienting pattern, as a drunken onlooker tries and fails to keep track of one of them.
12. A rugged man and woman stand in a corner. They bear unusual face paint.
13. A ragged traveller has his boots off and warms his mud-encrusted feet atop a stool by the fire.
14. A frail woman sits unmoving, with her head down. Long matted hair obscures her face.
15. A rowdy crowd cheers on two barely conscious men in a fierce drinking competition.
16. Eyeing everyone around him, a man whittles a stick into a sharp point with a large knife.
17. A figure clad in dark robes and a bizarre mask is seated by a window. It’s impossible to tell who or what they are watching.
18. The large piercing eyes are all that can be confidently made out of a figure seated in a dark alcove.
19. Three foreigners dressed in unusually patterned clothes speak in an unintelligible language.
20. An obese man is obscured by a gray haze, as he smokes from a large hookah.
21. Three ratlike fellows chitter among themselves excitedly.
22. A small woman happily carries an oversized mug to her lone table.
23. Two bards perform a carefully choreographed dance while playing and singing a merry tune atop a table.
24. A serving boy forces a polite smile as two drunkards shove and berate him.
25. A woman looks at the ceiling, ignoring the stammering man pleading to her from a seat over.
26. A flamboyant man bears a rakish grin. Two giggling women sit by either side of him.
27. A one eyed woman picks at her teeth with a knife.
28. A figure clad in dazzling gold and silver ornaments by the newcomers.
29. A small group huddled by the door suddenly stops speaking as the newcomers enter, they watch them carefully before resuming their hushed conversation.
30. A man covered in thick cloaks wanders through the room with a heavy limp.
31. A gigantic woman and a tiny man laugh at some unheard joke.
32. A burly man raises his fist threateningly at the meeker man seated before him.
33. Loudly snoring, a drunkard is passed out leaning on the bar, still clutching the toppled mug whose residue they lie in.
34. A figure is slumped in a dark corner, unmoving, probably asleep and possibly dead.
35. A red faced man bares a gigantic wicked grin as he scans the room.
36. Leaning against the wall, a woman in a revealing dress smokes from a long cigarette holder.
37. Two traders argue over the price of a gilded necklace that one holds onto tightly.
38. A woman strokes a black cat that rests on her lap.
39. Juices run down the chin of a woman gorging on an opulent meal.
40. A man sadly gnaws on the leftover bones of his meal, using them to scrape up any remaining sauce on his plate.
41. A woman walks past the bar, her hand nimbly slipping something out of a drunk patron’s pocket.
42. A woman deftly handles a playing card, making it disappear before producing it again from behind a stunned onlooker’s ear.
43. A grizzled man with a deep scar across his face sits atop a metal box that bumps and shakes as its contents try to escape.
44. A large nosed character inhales deeply as they are clouded by a waft of steam rising from a pot on the table in front of them.
45. Adorned in expensive fabrics, a woman flanked by two bodyguards reapplies her makeup with a small hand mirror.
46. A man with sunken, hollow features jitters nervously at the bar, constantly glancing in every direction.
47. A pair garbed in pristine white fabrics talk over glasses of brightly coloured, bubbly drinks.
48. Helmets off and weapons down, three local guards casually rest at a table by the fire.
49. Five heavily equipped soldiers drink from large mugs. Their equipment has had skulls and various other emblems crudely painted on.
50. The distinctive sound of dice rolling from a cup can be heard from a far table surrounded by patrons.
51. An armed woman stands, arms crossed, behind the bar. She watches everyone who orders carefully.
52. A serving woman tries to collect an empty bowl from a savage looking patron who quickly snatches it back off her and snarls. He begins to lick the bottom of the bowl.
53. A woman reaches below her table with a shank of meat, where a bedraggled dog lazily begins to gnaw on it.
54. A black bird perches on the shoulder of a gangly woman loitering in a dark corner.
55. A scholarly fellow with a pair of tiny spectacles perched on his nose leafs through a book with leisurely comfort.
56. A burly woman slams a bedraggled man to the floor, before yanking him up by the back of his collar and dragging him choking and kicking out the back door.
57. The bartender is diligently trying to scrub away a stubborn bloodstain on the counter. A few discarded teeth rest near the stain.
58. A serpent curls around the shoulders of a man dressed in a black mantle.
59. A woman with a fishing rod in hand and a gigantic fish slung over her shoulder is bartering with the bartender.
60. A woman and a man talk with heavy accents, their clothing is bright and resembles butterflies.

There’s just one thing missing from this list: species diversity. I think all the bizarre aliens are some of the best parts of these sequences in the Star Wars movies, but I didn’t want to make this list too setting-specific, so I left them out. But if you want that cultural melting pot of strange creatures kind of vibe, I suggest that each time you roll on the vignette table, also roll on a table of species from your world, and try to include at least one of the species you rolled somewhere in your description. Here are two d20 tables to start you off, one for generic fantasy, and one for generic sci fi.

Fantasy:

• 1-3. Elf
• 4-6. Halfling
• 7-9. Dwarf
• 10. Lizardfolk / Dragonkin
• 11. Orc / Half Orc
• 12. Goblin
• 13. Beastman
• 14. Catfolk
• 15. Dark Elf
• 16. Frogman
• 17. Satyr
• 18. Tiefling
• 19. Fairy
• 20. Treefolk

Sci Fi:

1. Cat Headed Alien
2. Dog Headed Alien
3. Rat Headed Alien
4. Bird Headed Alien
5. Large Furry Alien
6. Tiny Furry Alien
7. Tall Four Armed Alien
8. Beetle-Like Alien
9. Tentacle Faced Alien
10. Praying Mantis-Like Alien
11. Cyborg
12. Alien in a Respiratory Suit
13. Spider-Like Alien
14. Alien in a Floating Chair
15. Worm Alien
16. Winged Alien
17. Humanoid Alien with Brightly Coloured Skin
18. Robot
19. Fish Alien in a Robot Suit
20. Large Burly Alien

And if you aren’t the type to run more sandboxy games, scenes like these can still be a fantastic way to sell your world as a place that exists beyond the PCs. Just roleplay all of the patrons as drunk or untrusting of strangers to avoid complete derailment.

I hope this can provide some inspiration for your games. Thanks for reading the whole post (or scrolling down to the bottom). I’m considering expanding the table into a printable d100 list, which I could release on Itch, so please let me know if you got something out of this post and if that’s something you might be interested in. Any feedback is always appreciated <3

I will leave you with this:

My face peels back, revealing the cold, inhuman eyes of Neil Degrasse Tyson. ‘Actually, Star Wars couldn't really happen …’