Turnip28 Snob Name Generator

Turnip28 is a weird setting with weird names like ‘Von Sneg’ and ‘Tod’. It can be hard to come up with names that sound somewhat European but also weird and rooty and apocalyptic and absurd, so I’ve made a series of tables to help generate them. Although they can create names for anyone in the Turnip universe, they’re mainly aimed at making names for snobs, so they lean more regal and adorned. If you want your name to be even more snobbish, try rolling multiple times on the first name or title/nickname tables. More names = more fancy.

First, roll to determine whether your given name will be masculine, feminine, or neutral. The masculine and feminine names are mostly real names (but more on the archaic side), while the neutral names are mostly things I made up or took from other Turnip media. The real names are mostly English, French, and German in origin.

Gender (d6)

1-2 Masculine
3-4 Neutral
5-6 Feminine

Then roll on the appropriate table to get your name.

Masculine Name (d100)

1 Alain
2 Albin
3 Alexander
4 Alfred
5 Alphonse
6 Amand
7 Antoine
8 Archibald
9 Armin
10 Barnaby
11 Bennig
12 Benoit
13 Berthold
14 Blythe
15 Briar
16 Charles
17 Cuthbert
18 Didier
19 Dimitri
20 Eberhard
21 Eckbert
22 Edel
23 Edgar
24 Edmund
25 Edward
26 Egon
27 Eike
28 Engelbert
29 Ernst
30 Eugene
31 Fabian
32 Felix
33 Ferdinand
34 Fergus
35 Florimond
36 François
37 Garrett
38 Gaspard
39 Geoffrey
40 George
41 Gilbert
42 Gregor
43 Guillaume
44 Gunther
45 Hans
46 Harold
47 Henry
48 Hieronymus
49 Hubert
50 Hugh
51 Humbert
52 Ichabod
53 Ishmael
54 Ivan
55 Iver
56 Ivo
57 Jacob
58 James
59 Jean
60 Jenkins
61 Jim
62 Jonathan
63 Jörg
64 Joseph
65 Körbl
66 Laurence
67 Lionel
68 Louis
69 Ludwig
70 Manfred
71 Marcel
72 Martin
73 Marvin
74 Max
75 Nicholas
76 Norbert
77 Otto
78 Patrick
79 Pepin
80 Philbert
81 Philip
82 Philomon
83 Pierre
84 Ralph
85 Reginald
86 Richard
87 Roger
88 Rudolph
89 Siegfried
90 Silas
91 Sullivan
92 Sven
93 Thomas
94 Victor
95 Waldo
96 Wally
97 Walter
98 Wilhelm
99 William
00 Wolfgang

Neutral Name (d100)

1 Alex
2 Antelby
3 Arbor
4 Babble
5 Bellamy
6 Bellowous
7 Bobbins
8 Brylgos
9 Brynn
10 Bugleberry
11 Carla
12 Chappery
13 Chimney
14 Clatterplank
15 Dimble
16 Dorian
17 Eele
18 Egvert
19 Ellis
20 Ergot
21 Fen
22 Flower
23 Flugel
24 Forte
25 Francis
26 Froogle
27 Gallopus
28 Gargle
29 Gauston
30 Grigley
31 Gringle
32 Grott
33 Grubbles
34 Guffaw
35 Gumwax
36 Gurgle
37 Heffrey
38 Honey
39 Inkle
40 Jan
41 Jex
42 Jin
43 Jod
44 Jude
45 Jules
46 Karola
47 Kugelworth
48 LeBlanc
49 LeFrond
50 Lief
51 Lod
52 Lowen
53 Marshmallow
54 Migglemert
55 Minglin
56 Misha
57 Mollusk
58 Moony
59 Morg
60 Morgan
61 Moss
62 Noel
63 Nogbell
64 Oleander
65 Onions
66 Orfen
67 Perponcher
68 Pinky
69 Piquel
70 Plash
71 Plott
72 Qug
73 Quinn
74 Remington
75 Remy
76 Renata
77 Ridley
78 Robin
79 Rowan
80 Schuyler
81 Sloop
82 Slouch
83 Snik
84 Snipe
85 Snog
86 Snurl
87 Splensh
88 Spout
89 Squinty
90 Stipple
91 Toggler
92 Tot
93 Ungert
94 Ven
95 Vink
96 Warble
97 Wendell
98 Wilbus
99 Yug
00 Zeat

Feminine Name (d100)

1 Ada
2 Adeline
3 Agnes
4 Alfreda
5 Alice
6 Amelia
7 Annabelle
8 Anne
9 Annette
10 Anya
11 Astrid
12 Beatrice
13 Belle
14 Bernadette
15 Bridget
16 Brunhilde
17 Caroline
18 Cecilia
19 Cerise
20 Charlotte
21 Colette
22 Constance
23 Daphne
24 Edith
25 Eleanor
26 Elfrida
27 Esmerelda
28 Esther
29 Fanny
30 Felicity
31 Fern
32 Florence
33 Frida
34 Froggetta
35 Genevieve
36 Gertrude
37 Gladys
38 Godiva
39 Greta
40 Gruntilda
41 Guinevere
42 Hagilda
43 Harriet
44 Helga
45 Henrietta
46 Hester
47 Hilda
48 Hildegarde
49 Holace
50 Ida
51 Illiana
52 Ilse
53 Ingeborg
54 Ingrid
55 Iris
56 Isabeau
57 Isolde
58 Jane
59 Jessamine
60 Joan
61 June
62 Katarina
63 Katinka
64 Lavinia
65 Lotte
66 Louise
67 Lucia
68 Lucinda
69 Lucy
70 Lydia
71 Margaux
72 Marge
73 Margit
74 Maria
75 Martha
76 Mary
77 Matilda
78 Maud
79 Maud
80 Mercy
81 Merida
82 Miriam
83 Morgana
84 Odette
85 Olga
86 Olivia
87 Orinda
88 Penelope
89 Prune
90 Reine
91 Sarah
92 Sophia
93 Sophronia
94 Susan
95 Sybil
96 Theodosia
97 Tiana
98 Wenda
99 Yvonne
00 Zoe

Then roll for your surname.

Surname (d100)

1 Auguste
2 Batts
3 Berrymilk
4 Biggins
5 Blackmarsh
6 Blanche
7 Bogfoot
8 Bootsoft
9 Borb
10 Bösch
11 Briddleskinx
12 Brierley
13 Brogbent
14 Clobber
15 Ditherslop
16 Drainpipe
17 Dredge
18 Drench
19 Driblet
20 Dwerry
21 Fitzgerald
22 Fitzroy
23 Flush
24 Footstool
25 Frunkfort
26 Girder
27 Goggins
28 Gongbottom
29 Gongwell
30 Gorboz
31 Gourdroy
32 Groos
33 Gump
34 Hilbert
35 Hogwash
36 Honeysett
37 Huff
38 Humphrey
39 Icksmell
40 Ironbork
41 Kerr
42 Klimt
43 Knopf
44 Kunkel
45 Latchkey
46 Lave
47 Leechlick
48 Lerp
49 Marshfoot
50 Merp
51 Messmann
52 Moistwad
53 Monk
54 Mould
55 Mounce
56 Norris
57 Pfaff
58 Pillious
59 Plott
60 Pohl
61 Quench
62 Ruggles
63 Sappington
64 Schmeling
65 Schnell
66 Shellard
67 Slosh
68 Slough
69 Sluice
70 Slurple
71 Smynt
72 Snailbane
73 Snelling
74 Snodgrass
75 Sockline
76 Sockwell
77 Spalding
78 Spannagel
79 Spout
80 Squelch
81 Stavn
82 Stovepipe
83 Stronglance
84 Stumpet
85 Sudworth
86 Trootle
87 Tubery
88 Tuft
89 Van Ban
90 Van Ruten
91 Von Gartel
92 Von Garz
93 Von Gugan
94 Von Lenkz
95 Von Snurl
96 Washingwell
97 Weft
98 Wellies
99 Woodwell
00 Woshner

And finally, roll for your title or nickname. Each entry states in parentheses whether it should go before, after, or between your first and last names. If it says ‘before or after’ flip a norbert to decide where it goes, or choose whichever sounds better. It usually sounds nicer if you remove the ‘the’ when placing a title before your name.

Title/Nickname (d100)

1 "Baggy Pants" (between)
2 "Beet Face" (between)
3 "Goldfinger" (between)
4 "Husky" (between)
5 "Lumpy" (between)
6 "Porky" (between)
7 "Tipsy" (between)
8 "Trumpet" (between)
9 Awful (before)
10 Babblin' (before)
11 Baron/Baroness (before)
12 Big (before)
13 Brother/Sister (before)
14 Captain (before)
15 Commander (before)
16 Count/Countess (before)
17 Crooked (before)
18 Deep Pockets (before)
19 Duke/Duchess (before)
20 Flailin' (before)
21 Flighty (before)
22 Frail (before)
23 Frightful (before)
24 Fungoid (before)
25 Junior (after)
26 Knög (before)
27 Little (before)
28 Lively (before)
29 Long Arm (before)
30 Long Legged (before)
31 Lord/Lady (before)
32 Madcap (before)
33 Marquis/Marquise (before)
34 Mouldy (before)
35 Of Agoz Castle (after)
36 Of Bhir (after)
37 Of Cestelmerp (after)
38 Of Geets (after)
39 Of Gerpe (after)
40 Of Jorc (after)
41 Of Krotz (after)
42 Of Mergland (after)
43 Of Mireforp (after)
44 Of Murke (after)
45 Of Sallow (after)
46 Of Shellwood (after)
47 Of Slek (after)
48 Of the Barrows (after)
49 Of the Southern Marshes (after)
50 Old (before)
51 Overlord (before)
52 Screamin' (before)
53 Sir/Dame (before)
54 Stumpy (before)
55 The 10th (after)
56 The 2nd (after)
57 The 3rd (after)
58 The 4th (after)
59 The 5th (after)
60 The 6th (after)
61 The 7th (after)
62 The 8th (after)
63 The 9th (after)
64 The All-Seeing (before or after)
65 The Anxious (before or after)
66 The Awesome (before or after)
67 The Beautiful (before or after)
68 The Bitter (before or after)
69 The Bountiful (before or after)
70 The Brittle (before or after)
71 The Conqueror (after)
72 The Dashing (before or after)
73 The Dehydrated (after)
74 The Destroyer (after)
75 The Drunkard (before or after)
76 The Elder (after)
77 The Fair (before or after)
78 The Filthy (before or after)
79 The Fragile (before or after)
80 The Great (before or after)
81 The Handsome (before or after)
82 The Hideous (before or after)
83 The Impaler (after)
84 The Merciful (before or after)
85 The Odourful (before or after)
86 The Petulant (before or after)
87 The Porcine (before or after)
88 The Rambunctious (before or after)
89 The Rootful (before or after)
90 The Rotund (before or after)
91 The Short  (before or after)
92 The Shroominous (before or after)
93 The Silly (before or after)
94 The Soggy (before)
95 The Superior (after)
96 The Terrible (before or after)
97 The Unseemly (before or after)
98 The Vacuous (before or after)
99 The Younger (after)
00 Truffle-Mad (before)

I will leave you with this:

I hope your day is pleasant and your socks aren't filled with thorns