Fictional diseases can be a great way to add some verisimilitude to a setting while setting it apart from real life. These tables allow you to easily create something interesting and unique for your world. I wrote most of these tables while I was incredibly sick, which did help with inspiration, but I can’t recommend researching illnesses and writing about them while you’re already sick. It really isn’t a great distraction.
I recommend rolling 2-4 times on the Symptoms table to create an interesting combination. All of the symptoms are relatively grounded and should fit in just about any setting, but their severity can vary a lot. If you have a particular severity in mind, you might want to roll a couple of extra times then cut the rolls that don’t fit, or just choose the options yourself.
Whenever a table entry says ‘body part’ you can either roll on the body part table or choose a more specific body part yourself.
Content warning: gross stuff (obviously)
Symptoms (d100)
- 1-2 Flu symptoms
- 3-4 Extremely runny nose
- 5-6 Can’t keep food down
- 7-8 Fever
- 9-10 Body part aches
- 11-12 Extreme weakness
- 13-14 Stomach ache
- 15-16 Extreme dehydration
- 17-18 Dizziness
- 19-20 Sleepiness
- 21-22 Diarrhoea
- 23-24 Bruising
- 25-26 Loss of taste
- 27-28 Loss of smell
- 29-30 Swollen eyelids impairing vision
- 31-32 Swollen and painful body part
- 33-34 Extremely bad breath
- 35-36 Can’t stop sneezing
- 37-38 Extreme sensitivity to touch
- 39-40 Coughing up bile
- 41-42 Flaking skin on body part
- 43-44 Itchy body part
- 45-46 Rash on body part
- 47-48 Spots on body part
- 49-50 Pronounced veins on body part
- 51-52 Hair falling out
- 53-54 Hard growths on body part
- 55-56 Nosebleeds
- 57-58 Coughing up blood
- 59-60 Blurred vision
- 61-62 Pus from ears
- 63-64 Withering body part
- 65-66 Body part changes colour
- 67-68 Eyes change colour
- 69-70 Chalky skin on body part
- 71-72 Causes sleepwalking
- 73-74 Hot flushes
- 75-76 Affects children worse than adults
- 77-78 Affects adults worse than children
- 79-80 Confusion and disorientation
- 81-82 Body part paralysed
- 83-84 Muscle spasms
- 85-86 Uncontrollable shaking
- 87-88 Hallucinations
- 89-90 Sensitivity to bright light
- 91-92 Extreme hunger
- 93-94 Weakened bones
- 95-96 Loss of voice
- 97-98 Sensitivity to loud sounds
- 99-00 Loss of appetite
Body Part (d6)
- Torso
- Arm
- Leg
- Face/head
- Entire body
- Roll 1d4 twice on this table
The Treatment table will generate a cure for your sparkly new disease. The cures it generates will be weird. They’re based on real life folk remedies, mainly the more bizarre medieval ones, so they don’t really fit in modern or sci-fi settings. It’s up to you whether the remedy you generate actually works or is just superstition.
When an entry in the Treatment table uses the word substance, roll on the Substance table. The Substance table includes plants from all around the world, so you might want to reroll if they don’t match the climate or area in your world. Also, you can occasionally generate some truly absurd treatments, like eating only ash for a month, which might warrant a reroll.
Treatment (d20)
- Ingest substance
- Apply substance to affected area
- Apply substance to body part
- Line shoes with substance
- Touch copper until better
- Apply pressure to affected area
- Lie beneath the full moon
- Sleep on rocks
- Inhale substance odour
- Sleep with substance under pillow/head
- Eat only substance for two weeks
- Bathe in substance
- Drain blood from affected area
- Fast for 1d6 days
- Abstain from eating meat
- Make a pilgrimage to a temple
- Sleep within a fairy ring
- Hear the call of a rare bird
- Keep substance under tongue
- Lie with substance over eyes for 1d6 hours
Substance (d100)
- 1-2 Raw meat
- 3-4 Ash
- 5-6 Herbal mixture
- 7-8 Milk
- 9-10 Honey
- 11-12 Tree sap
- 13-14 Cinnamon
- 15-16 Ginger
- 17-18 Garlic
- 19-20 Liver
- 21-22 Moss from a holy temple
- 23-24 Egg
- 25-26 Mint
- 27-28 Salt
- 29-30 Pepper
- 31-32 Tea
- 33-34 Citrus
- 35-36 Olive oil
- 37-38 Urine
- 39-40 Fermented snake
- 41-42 Alcohol
- 43-44 Sea water
- 45-46 Turmeric
- 47-48 Butter
- 49-50 Cheese
- 51-52 Yoghurt
- 53-54 Sugar
- 55-56 Bone marrow
- 57-58 Crushed bone
- 59-60 Gingko
- 61-62 Echinacea
- 63-64 Lavender
- 65-66 Aloe Vera
- 67-68 Celery
- 69-70 Barberry
- 71-72 Chilli
- 73-74 Papaya
- 75-76 Mushrooms
- 77-78 Coffee
- 79-80 Thistle
- 81-82 Fennel
- 83-84 Liquorice root
- 85-86 Flaxseed oil
- 87-88 Chamomile
- 89-90 Oregano
- 91-92 Rosemary
- 93-94 Elderberry
- 95-96 Cranberry
- 97-98 Blueberry
- 99-00 Grape
I will leave you with this:
A woman creates a new extra strong peppermint beverage known for its low vitamin D content, she calls it ‘Mindy's Min-D Minty Mint Tea’
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